The Redneck Hick
The Redneck Hick (also known as WOODY) is a big booty of emotion from PERF that descends like a feather.
Hick is undoubtedly everybody's favourite Kingsmen, but has recently abandoned his followers for the moto-infested streets of Cambodia.
Has over 400 rides to his name, during which he was the winner of 4 CUPS - loves to remind people of that fact, and uses it as an excuse for his consistently INSIPID form over the past year or so.
Runs the hugely popular Giro and Le Tour tipping comps - just needs to figure out a way to make some coin from it and he will be able to retire, like half of the other bludgers in TKM.
Resorts to yoga daily to prevent mental breakdowns.