The Padawan

All TKM had to apply for working with children permits when Paddy joined the Kingdom.. most failed the police check so Paddy was packed off to Europe.  Back now and holds vague ambitions to hang onto noize.  Will 3 months of cultural cross fertilsation hold the young sprat in good stead?

The Batsman

This guy is so unpopular he created his own Wiki page to garner friends, but we love him. 

A real pro. Some say he needs mud to survive. A cyclist caught between the road and smoking cones. He's another one of the RANGA brigade which makes up 48.6% of TKM.  Packed with attitude but yet to convert it to a cup win.

Holds least amount of respect for TKM by flaunting his sponsor's kit during TKM sanctioned rides. Nearly didn't qualify to ride for TKM by not meeting the minimum height pre-requisite.

The Wiz

Some say he  possesses magical powers. Most say he is the oldest and wisest in the Kingdom...  All agree he is the slowest.  But with sleight of hand  Wiz conjures the art of the early turn, which puts him at the head of the peleton as the Brown Sign looms.  A Daisy Day specialist, spirirual father of TKM, actual father of Paddy and Noods, one of whom inherited his cycling ability. Put Teh King on the ground in a drunken wrestle Xmas 2010

The Brick

Has hours of video of you and enough music to run a non-stop Berlin disco during Love Parade. 

A bio-mechanical hip pushes him, farther, higher, faster than Steve Austin. BRX is a sensitive liitle soul - used to be fat, got teases other fatties about being fat.

The Florist

Our resident Princess.

The Florist can be found sniffing the breeze on daisy days. 

She is the sole remaining chick in the Kingdom and noted to the King that being a chick she tends not to get given shit.   

Got drunk once and dated a Gypsy whilst drunk.  

The Ghost

He was funny when he was fat...our resident cheer leader.  

Coming from triathlon he loves to set goals.  Needs a slap in the face and a kick in the balls.  Aim is to hang onto Noize before years end but will probably never make it and go back to being fat.

UPDATE - has silenced the doubters and is now rfirmly latched onto the back of the train. Chapeau!

The Stig

RARE - wore a gold G-banger at the Bright ITT then got a huge tat on his leg. 

Stiggy often sends out emails seeking drinking partners - no takers as yet. 

Too scared to find out about his past.  

Riding like no tomorrow and was sitting comfortably in the top 10 on GC for the Spring season.


The Tamps

Runs further than you ride. Nicest bloke in TKM with the worst name ever!  Has quads almost as big as your girlfriend's waist. Sometimes rides his bike backwards with no hands because he can.  

The Butcher

"Please". "Thankyou". "Can I get the door for you?" "Pardon me if I am being presumptuous".  

The Butchers won a cup once - has apologised for not winning in since.  

Has been known to accidently eat children thinking it was a biscuit and dip. 

Always willing to drive, and fills out a football sock