Rightio you untreated monkey’s arssssssse rashes! May as well do a rehash of last Thursday’s report!

AS the kingsmen cup of Winter 2013 comes to conclusion we are being treated to one of the ALL TIME great finishes to a season. Will beaver pull the oil stick out of farmers tractor? Will the farmer damn up beaver’s river or will his tractor break down in the final paddock!????? Will David Thodey, Ms Beaver or the puncture gods call a 6amer and let the iceberg crash into the cup???!!!!!! Who knows! Rub it down and shine it up for the remaining rides of the season to be part of one of the greatest!!!!!

From the end of last season it’s been a monumental shift for the ICEBERG who has been drifting up from the Antarctic and sending a chill through the leaders of the cup! He is causing tectonic movement and as the ice is hitting the Bahama boat up front the ocean is turning to steam! The berger is now within striking distance of the coveted YELLO and should the puncture gods penalise our 2 leaders he will wear it!!

Back in the Bahama boat and judging from this ride there was a Harvard brain surgeon and Maaalcolm Marshaaaalll at the helm. There is NOTHING separating these 2! A measly 3 POINTS! But when the BEAVER gave the FARMER a pat on the back on a roll coming down into goats gruff he well and truly performed a lobotomy on him. The chunk though, with some solid rolls early did enough to stay in 3rd pozi even after one of the biggest skiddezz in the modern era.

The calypso quartet of SHERPA, DOGGIE, BATTA and EAGLE** were next up on stage sitting on the bongos banging out some fine rhythm. Sherpa though was best on vocals pumping out a bit of SHA BAH BAH BAH SHE BAH BAH. Amazing how quickly this guy’s form turns around. Watch out for spring…

Right next to the stage watching the action were The RABBIT and the SMAKIE sucking on a biiiiig reefer whilst backstage the RACOON, STEALTH***, FLY* and CAMEL were all pickin nits out of their dreadlocks.

The SKUNK, the POSTIE and the JESTER all passed out sucking on the bong and didn’t even get to the show! Bad luck!

Never mind there will be more bongos tomorrow! See you then NERDS.


Sprint results: *1st, **2nd, ***3rd