AUTUMN ITT - THE HOUND BEATS THE PIMP BY A SNOUT
What a ripper morning. Crisp and fresh at 5 degrees reminding all that the Winter Season is almost here! Ranga heaven, Eagle hell!
But to important matters of the day....
It started with a rare incorrect prognostication from The Llama - as he and Random Jordy were the first to arrive The Lluma suggested the combination of the temperature, light and lack of The King would keep numbers to less than a dozen. Clearly the Kingdom responds to none of these as 23 riders plus Boxer plus Smackie turned up. Boxer is back on his feet and took control of the timing. Smackie was, well, moral support. Good to see you Smax ...
It was too cold to muck around so the knights went off thick and fast. A few side bets were on the table ... Ghostie being most active in trying to help others to provide incentives to others to smash themselves (Candyman gave him 40 seconds, Llama gave him 25 ... no bets for guessing who has hung out with Eagle more).
Out on course riders clearly fell into two categories ... those on the drops and driving it ... and those for whom the ice was preventing them getting their heart rates above 100.
First to post a stunning time was The Sherpa. That's right ... just when you thought he had finally been recruited by Cadel he turns up and smashes out 16:27.
TOUR de PERTH 2013
Just spoke to SMAX, he dictated a note, as he is pretty shagged. I'm not too quick, but I'm pretty sure, word for word, this is what he said:
I enjoyed a wonderful and challenging first stage of the Tour De Perth on Rottnest Island. The pace was incredibly fast, at an average of 47 km/h over a lumpy 80 kilometres, and methinks it was much more challenging than a session being paced by a motor cycle, of which as you know I am a strong advocate. With many junior cyclists in the event, inevitably due to their inexperience I was involved in two crashes. Terrifyingly, in one such crash I was catapulted over my handlebars into the scrub. Thankfully, with some other chaps, we were able to work together collegiately to recover our position.
With two kilometeres to go I was well postioned behind gents such as Giacoppo and other Italiano sounding types, with a small group further up the road. There was quite a swarming of cyclists into the last kilometer and I thought it best not to overextend but still achieve the same time group as my colleagues. Coming in about 37 seconds down on GC and 42nd overall.
Our team has done well, I'm really excited about the ITT tomorrow where I hope to perform well. Thank you all for your tremendous support to date.
PENIS. STIFFY. WEOH. PANTS
OUT FEARLESS LEADER GOES TO WORK ONE DAY....
The logistics of living in the burbs means that Noize is only the tip of the iceberg of what is required either side of the event.
Today's circus event involved the post ride shower.
Drive to work from Phamish.
Collect clothes and toiletries left at work the day before.
Showers are being renovated so have to use temporary shower in disabled toilet.
No hot water. Average when you are trying to wash, do teeth and shave.
Freezing but clean.
Fvck. Forgot towel.
Can't use lycra to dry. Doesn't work.
Have to use shitter paper.
Shitter paper is the type that disintegrates as soon as you touch it.
26 mtres of shitter paper later I am covered in shitter paper balls.
No mirror so can't see if any are hanging from my eyebrows or lips.
Still not dry.
Clothes go on anyway.
Put product in hair.
No basin to wash hands. Have to use shower. Turn on. Sticky tap. Goes on full noize and sprays King straight in the crotch.
Well hello Thursday. Nice to see you.
TKM's annual Road Race Championships were held in April at Halls Gap over 3 gruelling stages.
Full report coming soon..
Tuesday morning FULL NOIZE
Thursday morning FULL NOIZE
Saturday morning HoP*, with BRX.
Latest Autumn Ranking
1st - The Farmer
2nd - The Batter
3rd - The Berger